BRINGING up sons, aged six and four, as a single mum would be a challenge for most people. But for 28-year-old Lisa Hogwood the task is even more daunting as her eldest son has severe learning difficulties.

Matthew has been diagnosed as being autistic and needs round-the-clock care. He has a team of Health professionals to support him, from occupational therapists to speech and language therapists, paediatricians to physiotherapists.

Lisa first recognised there was a problem when Matthew was only two years old. She realised he wasn’t developing as fast as he should, with his speech delayed.

Lisa explains: “Matthew was a fantastic baby, but when he got to about two there was a strong sense he had autistic traits and an autistic personality.

“It was difficult for him to communicate or express his needs. He didn’t even make the gurgling noises babies do. If he was upset he wouldn’t be able to express it to me, which would lead to him bottling it up and becoming very frustrated.”

Health professionals believe Matthew is now three years behind other children. The six-year-old also suffers from severe allergies, eczema and is incontinent at night. He was in mainstream education, but has been given a place at a special school, starting this month.

Lisa describes life as a carer: “It does impact on your life. Matthew needs full- time care. He isn’t independent and needs constant guidance, supervision and reassurance.

“He doesn’t recognise dangers as other children would, so he could open the front door and walk out into the street at anytime, no matter how many times you tell him that it is wrong and unsafe.

“It is time-consuming and I have to be careful of the impact on Kieran, my youngest son. It can also be quite isolating. You can feel there is no one who understands what you are going through.”

However, Lisa says this changed when she discovered NHS South West Essex’s Expert Patient Programme. She attended the Thurrock Looking After Me course, which concentrates on caring for carers.

Open to adults who care for someone living with a long-term health condition or disability, the free course gives carers the skills to concentrate on their own health. It covers topics such as relaxation techniques, coping with tiredness, planning for the future and dealing with difficult emotions such as anger, fear, frustration and guilt.

Run by experts, people with experience of caring, there is even a free pampering session.

Lisa says: “When I went to the Looking After Me course it was a lifeline for me. You can talk to people who know exactly how you’re feeling.

“They may have even been through the same situation or experienced the problem you’re dealing with. Sometimes you just go there for the emotional support. Nothing is out of bounds and it makes your life so much easier. It’s such a reassurance to know you’re not the only person going through it.

“It is good to take a couple of hours out each week to reflect on what is happening in your life, rather than just plodding on and spiralling into depression.

“You tend not to think about the fact you’re a carer – you’re a mum or a husband and caring for your loved one is just what you do.

“I made some great friends and connections, so the support continues after the course. You realise no matter who you care for and what their condition is, your experience as a carer is very similar.”

For Lisa, the course helped her become a better carer, giving her the patience to deal with difficult times and the energy to continue looking after her son.

She has since studied to become an expert patient tutor so she can lead NHS South West Essex courses herself.

She says: “If Matthew is 18 and asks me, ‘Why am I like this mum? What did I do’? I want to be able to look at my child and think I have done as much as I could for him with the resources I have.

“I want to know I have knocked on every door. Matthew may never read, but I will not sit back. I will show him books and encourage him to read and to look at them. If I know I have tried everything, I will be a proud parent.”